The HuGe Website

Tuesday, June 3

From YVONNE:

"Hello... did you call for a maid to come and clear your house? We have a purple cat which could eat up all your rat and keep your house really clean..just charge you $15 dollars per hour. The colour of the cat you can choose. Either green, white, or purple.."

"eh... got pink or not ah.."

"Oh.. sorry ah.. There is no pink cat. Purple only. I will reach your house with the purple cat within 5 mins time.."

Next day....

"Hello... I am Lee Kwan Yew. Did you ask for a taxi?" (Comments from me.. WILLIAM.. when u say this, do you know that Lee Kwan Yew will never call a cabbi? hahahahhaha.. cos he got car lah. *diaozzz)

Feminine side of the tigress

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The HuGe Website

was created in june 2008 for the purpose of commemorating the oldest living tiger in lygon, melbourne. the first tiger to ever live such a long life in the city without attacking any humans. it is 5 foot 9 and 2000 kg. with its luscious orange fur coat and black stripes, it has survived in the harsh weather of melbourne. it has come out of the wilderness and was born again to join us at ebenezer bp church and races to kilsyth in a black Danes 5. truly, he is the modern TIGER of the new era. true to his chinese heritage, he is known as the Hu-Ge which translates to be .. well, huge. Largely appreciated by his peers, they have created this Huge Website for his twenty-third birthday!

Lame Jokes For William (since he likes them so much)

P.S. Please go memorise and tell us every sunday! (:

a man buys himself a horse. However it is a special horse- to go you must say hallelujah and to stop you must say Amen. One day the man takes his new horse to the woods to test it out. As he mounts he thinks of how happy the horse must be in such a beautiful place. He begins to trot slowely then with his confidence up he canters. Faster and faster, however he realizes he cant remember the word for stop. So he begins to pray to God. At the end of his prayer he says Amen. The horse stops. Right at the edge of a cliff. The man the exclaims- Its a miracle hallelujah!
- Meg Landon

Did you hear about the cargo ships?
One was carrying 5 tons of blue paint, the other 5 tons of red paint.
They crashed in the ocean.
Now all the sailors are marooned!
- Tony Gash

In an interview, the oldest person in world is being asked what the best part of being the oldest person in the world is. She replies:"No peer pressure"
- Robin M. H.

A certain English lady visited Switzerland and was having difficulty finding a room, so she asked the local schoolmaster to help her. After a satisfactory room had been found, she returned to her home and did some packing.
Suddenly, it occurred to her that she hadn't noticed a W.C. (in England, the toilet is called a Water Closet), so she wrote the schoolmaster about the W.C.
The Schoolmaster, not knowing the meaning, asked the parish priest and together they decided that it must mean "Wayside Chapel." He wrote her the following letter:

Dear Madame,

It is my pleasure to inform you that there is a W.C. just 9 miles from your home, in the center of a grove of pine trees. It seats 229 people, and it is open on Thursdays and Sundays. This is an unfortunate situation if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will, no doubt, be glad to hear that some people bring their lunches and make a day of it.

I would especially recommend Thursdays, for then there is an Organ accompaniment. The acoustics in the W.C. are excellent; even the most delicate sound can be heard.

My son was married in the W.C. and there was such a rush for seats that 10 people had to sit in the same seat. The looks on their faces were very interesting.

My wife is sickly but dedicated. She doesn't go regularly, and she hasn't gone for nearly a year.

I will be glad to reserve a seat in the W.C. for you, where you will be seen and heard by everyone.

Hoping I have been of some assistance.

Sincerely yours,
The Schoolmaster
- Patrick MacDonald

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.

How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.

What is a zebra?
25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.

and what kind of lettuce? Iceberg.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep/the one that can run the fastest.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
- Christopher Diraddo

A man walked into a bar and said "ouch".
- Michael Soutar

A ghost floats in to a pub and the barman turns around and says sorry your going to have to leave we don't serve spirits in here......
- Dave Brown

The HuGe Website

Tuesday, June 3

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The HuGe Website

About Lygon's Oldest Tiger

Lame Jokes For William (since he likes them so much)

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